In deep

The road through existence is tempered at best 

Embrace the bliss of calamity

It's only as important as you choose

And can be rendered in your own image

As light strikes the surface of a long 

Tired

Landscape

Life refreshes 

With plumes of lineage 

Casting spells from the elements 

Let your atmosphere be bright

When the brink of insanity is all but the logical comforting thought

Feel the warm breeze echo from your third eye

The fault of another shall not manifest upon me

Strength is

As it ever shall be

Calming

What I think

The infinite space gave way to trepidation 

I couldn't describe my feelings 

In lieu of validation

I lacked the affirmation

That solitude 

Wouldn't 

Become me 

Alarmed by the state

Forgiving of my reaction

Intrinsically 

Set to the edge

Comically speaking

We are the majority

And we

Will not

Be silenced

There is no failure in continuous learning

A bone with no marrow at all

This is my life

And I choose to live it

Don't misunderstand the stain

As compelling as dinner is

In the company of low ballers

Fluidity reminds me to practice what I preach 

Turning my knowledge to wisdom 

inner fire/inner peace

I brought myself back

From condolence and apathy

From tear drop and circumstance 

I almost forgot

Again

But I won't let you deceive me again

This time

You have your job to do

To live this life

Within the order and natural laws

To the fullest

Really taste

See with your third eye

Touch with your heart

These are the keys to life

To success

Once these spells leave your lips your intentions are manifested 

Be honest with yourself 

And with me

Because we both know you better than you think you know yourself 

Turbulent dissections 

Pity

Robust vocalizing of a solution 

Sans plan

I can only tell you of the light

You must seek it for yourself

You will know what the world is when you see who you are

A poem for a friend

Dear friend

I thought of you today

I've seen your reflection in my mind's eye in many situations this week

I felt a guiding force and I allowed myself to accept the cause

No matter the effect

It wasn't easy

Whenever I allowed doubt to wander in

I heard your whisper

I knew to be strong and steadfast

At one point I let my emotions get the better of me

Be exposed shall we say

It felt good

For once

I had to keep control 

But I acknowledged what it felt like to see myself from behind

To watch a moment of enlightenment manifest

There was beauty in the pain

There always is

I'm determined to let love in

I believe in the journey

Short and sweet

I miss the cuddling and hand holding 

I miss the way your energy felt against mine 

I miss the times when we would get lost in each other's souls 

Captivated by the beauty of each other's eyes 

Entranced by our skin 

Melting 

Into one 

Being 

Your fingertips dancing 

Deliciously 

On my lips 

A time for warmth is upon us

The heat from your intentions 

I still remember 

Concentration exercise

It happens eventually 

Though not as severe each time 

Kerosene kisses leave stains of disappointment 

But 

We are 

After all 

Human 

So spare me your Devils advocate spiel 

I promise I don't care 

To get stuck in a rut is embarrassing the first time 

So when the forty seventh time happens 

A decision must be made 

But each time 

It's less severe 

And I thought I had everything under control 

Yet mine is not to control 

A diversion from the future to revisit the past 

Each one 

Teach one 

Permit the mind to flourish 

We can't get enough of this fragrance 

Allow the timestamps to be 

Commit yourself to circumstantial objectivity 

Watch as the weak melt and dissolve by the catalyst that is defamation 

But first 

Rise

Wrestling With Myself

What I thought was shallow 

Became deep 

What I thought I wanted 

I was grateful for its passing 

In a concentration camp of confusion and alienation 

What should've been simple 

Gripped me in its frozen talons

A feeling I don't desire to entertain any time soon 

Tell me how you grace the bottom 

It's fascinating to watch 

I'm here to play a part 

Endorse me 

Ongoing deliberation lingers like chalk dust 

From a black board 

Unable to settle 

My hesitation becomes my greatest attribute 

Lust

Fully and completely 

Blanketed by aggression 

Exacerbating my predilection for desire 

How righteous it all seemed 

How honest 

How devout we once were

How we've discovered ourselves 

I could reach out 

Again 

But that would bear insanity 

The border of heart and mind 

Felt at the exact moment 

There is only one chance 

Allow me to stimulate myself 

Bring about change 

Within me 

So changes us all 

someone to take care of you

it was there

in that single moment

when i knew

this is what you wanted

this is what you thought you deserved

from the way your unkempt hair styled itself

to the way you chose to style yourself

you don't belong here

you don't belong this way

but i'm certain that's all you've ever heard in regards to you

and i know

i know what you're doing

even if you don't

and you know it too

even though you try and block it out

or make it some fanciful fallacy

fit for feverish function

the look on your face was one of disbelief

he wasn't even there to you

you were all alone

as the smoke billowed on a harsh wind

i doubt you smelled

what i assume was

the aromatic flesh roasting and marinating in it's own fat

broad daylight

did you think i would never happen upon you

were you hoping

it was chance

it was only for an instant

and in that instant i fell apart inside

i wanted to stop

wanted to go back

wanted to take you away from this hell you've created

show you

again

how it can be

if you let it

but in that instant

i made up my mind

i took it with me

up the road a little ways

then 

i left it

experience is for the wise

redundancy is for the insane

i know what chapter you're reading

don't drain all your resources

continuance

my continuance is based upon a longing for my soul's delight

deep within the cavernous lands

my desire to feel

and express

and create

abducts all other senses

allow nothing to control your being

call out to those that are not with us

that will assist us

and you will find your way

my continuance is based upon an insatiable predilection for new

encouraging my mouth to salivate at the thought

demanding that i stay

and become

all that i can become

i'll know when it's time

i'll know how to go

collect myself

with myself

for myself

alone

the blood we bleed

until one thought propels us forward

until the change is in our eyes

until the lists begin to dwindle

leaving only the serious diversions

we shall never know serenity

my tranquil heart and callous mouth will get me into trouble

my thoughts of addicts metamorphosing

and rising against the system

cleansing their wounds

once and for all

allowing no more to suppurate

the greed that consumes finally implodes

and i watch from the tower

an open room where all are welcome

the awakening is upon us

in time

alignment

that is what the ten percent preach

walking through fields of human excrement

the sun does not shine through the barricades of the hallowed forrest anymore

we seek atonement because we are told to

yet

the examples of the

forgiven

do not match the actions of the saved

the universe devised a plan of choice

a threesome with cause and effect

ownership is the deficiency

callous and terminal spectres invite allusive decadence

show me your way but let me decide 

without sanction

there is fire on the horizon

and soon the dust will blow to the heavens from whence it rained

a new day is upon us

extinction threatens existence

not my existence

or the existence of those like me

extinction threatens the existence of the soldiers of despondency

cancer can not thrive in a system devoid of sugar

that which is meant to fall will do so righteously

acts of valor will display the aversion to savagery

a firm base is all one needs to find the words

for action

for peace

for resurrection

the garden

broken stems and crumpled petals are all we need to see

neglect and mistreatment are now in plain view

the nourishment has been given to animals who will not take advantage

the soil has then been overrun by fecal matter

no boundaries

the garden perimeter degrades into society

the beauty of color is awash with destruction

and sorrow

it was not time

the height of existence is sometimes too much

peace and tranquillity

excitement and perseverance

many reach the high point of cultivation and throw down the gloves

no consultations

just neglect

when a new garden begins 

while the previous is in full bloom

the mark of creation looses value

if a new garden is in production

while the previous is wilted and dead

internal introspection needs to be had

everyone can enchant a garden into full bloom

everyone can cultivate and maintain

plans the seed and let nature do the rest

gods among us

against all odds

i survived

when they told me i couldn't 

i did

without words they doubted my ability

i kept them silent by proving myself

to myself

i sat

alone

reflecting

breathing

absorbing the negativity

through analytical research i gained momentum

a force to be reckoned with is never one and done

the super nova does not happen only once

i can create

evolve

expand

explode

and then begin again

eventually other energies find me

and we are the gods among a sleeping population

we are the sages of love

 the warriors of right

our purpose is experience

observe and report

to ourselves

to others desiring clarity

among the mist

we travel

we sleep when the sun is not so hot

we pollinate the lands we visit

receiving attention from passers by

the melody we hum nags at your subconscious for decades to come

you can dismiss our being

you can refuse our character

but you are one of us

working through

again and again and again and again

the opportunities present themselves

but what is considered insanity to you

is considered taking a chance to me

learning about your environment is not destructive

being a product of your environment is

and no one but you can observe like you do

disdain is the culprit

and sparks annoyance

which can turn into rage

if you let it

offer yourself the moon and the stars

but follow the road ahead

choose your own adventure 

and gather your memories

permit yourself the freedom to exist

when the wicked come for you

and they will come for you

you will be better equipped

the teacher is always the student

and the student the teacher

have you enjoyed the spoils of war

maybe it's not me

maybe it's not me

maybe it's not my heart that's in the wrong place

searching for the unattainable

never opening up

encased in steel and ice

advancing on others with a driving force of tortured sadness 

maybe it's not my head thinking of the next move

living in paranoia 

attempting to override my heart

rationalizing the demented affairs with others

saying such horrible things to myself and actually allowing myself to believe them 

maybe it's not my body

bloated and drowning my sorrow and filling myself with my desires

consuming more despair 

outraged that i am what others want yet others don't want me

constantly telling myself that i'm the prize

looking at the mirror but never seeing what it shows

maybe it's not my words stemming from my thoughts caressing my spirit into darkness

filled with seductive deception

lips dripping with cancer

no sugar coating 

destined to hurt only myself

maybe it's not me

the tempest

i almost forgot how it felt when we kissed

what a brilliant thing

it's been so long

since nirvana was reached 

departed birds sing for forgiveness

a song which finds its way to the depths of hell

the ravenous dogs surrender their kill

to me

but 

it's just not

the same

arrogance demands the floor 

humbleness waits outside

entranced by a haze of humidity

all creatures look the same

shadows

lost

against the mist

searching for that one solid embodiment

that tangible suffix that announces my departure from your light

what could be knowledge that isn't already wisdom

alas 

there is always more to digest

multiple partners

find the right combination

lock your irreverence away

gather

for me

one last time

invoke a heavenly light show for all non believers

it is possible to be adjacent to breadth 

my recollection holds beauty

even when you were ugly

i still rejoiced in the beauty

admittedly

i now know

i was experiencing me again

when i opened my eyes

analytical chauvinism became nothing more than a hallucinogenic nostalgia 

believable patronage became the norm

seduction was simple sport to keep my skill set at a certain stasis 

one more like you and there would be no more defense 

i stood in a field during a lightening feeding frenzy for a different perspective 

a mind will harness such volumes of memories

vaults within vaults of timeless propaganda

remember

if i go home first

you were 

through

the desire

deep inside

to overthrow your own government

to allow your emotions to be slave

no more

to the commandments dictated

albeit belligerently so

by barking dogs

fit not for oversight

but more for intimidation

you've lived

as they showed you

you've accepted

as they advised you

you found yourself

in their image

the quest for acceptance is a road forgotten by those in charge of repairs

when the guardians leave their post

leave the experiences up to us

will you welcome the nectar of insanity

will you succumb to the desire of beauty

you have

what you have

but you have not relaxed enough to slip from the shackles

a gale force wind brings an alertness of biblical proportions

the warrior becomes the teacher as well as the student

pieces fall into sequences which have been attempted many times before

the fun and excitement in hiding and pretending has blown out its last candle

the flames of reluctance can not be rekindled

pushing the hair from my eyes

i 

see

you

rise

beware

the kiss

so sultry

explosive

no matter the time

no matter the place

the kiss

disarms

disguised to mollify

and your embers float about

like smoldering down

elegant in combustion

but

the kiss

this kiss

has always held

seduction

you pine for it until it returns

you completely ignore its desire

to feign desire

sans authenticity

enslave the emotional vessel that is

hope

the kiss allows the soul to smile

but the kiss is void of sincerity

a glimmer of a request for honesty always presents itself

and you give it all you have

but not too much

because it doesn't matter

in the end

this kiss is your road map

seek its counsel 

permit your instincts the indulgence of the kiss

know

what lies beneath

motivation

i now know

what i've known all along

and i'm not even concerned about it

the delicacy of satisfaction empowers me to continue

with a new spin

on

what seems to be

an ever transfiguring

ever evolving

ever revising

self

while the background noise plays its part

while the drone of the people harmonizes with the hum of continuity

the macrocosm spasms down to a microcosm

and the wisdom of the elders echoes the halls

and the taste of the sugar cube

as it melts on my lips

entices me to go

forthrigth

perfect pacifism replaces action

there is no cure for the weary

alone

in a shell

that is confined to the soul

let me just rot

away from the crowd

helping to honor the memory

counting the ways of suffocation

gently eluding

while boisterously consuming

all that will not make us better

falling from grace never looked so appealing

shedding a tear for the youth

combining passion with the fire of candles

this is the way through the mist

the trepidatious will not survive

nor will the restless of heart

the woes of the desolate will rise in the wind

allow yourself the experience from the trenches

allow yourself

not to rely on

or succumb to the fate of the damned

salute the embodiment

emulate the role model

find yourself among all the rubble

the view from here

smoke pours from my mouth

backlit in a darkened room

even the gentle giant does damage

transgressions of a cynical circle ignite longing

less than perfect attributes threaten invasion

no distinct path to action is displayed

no further communication needs to be held

awaiting the death of memories brings knowing

all to familiar fragrances permeate the atmosphere

crushing a kiss with the momentum of timidity can send tremors for weeks after

despite what was taught

beyond the veil lies the will to do better

lost in frail examples of that which does not work for me

although strength is on my side

courage

calamity nips at their heels

pricking my finger i am reminded of the pain

the torment of a silent night

the rage of apathy

lessons of loneliness linger on lipstick traces

left on napkins

wine glasses

and

faces

dance in shame when we play the game

absolute immortality illuminates the dark

from behind

while the smoke fills the room

i dare not turn

there is nothing left

confronting illusions can spawn madness

the rush is enough for me

to know

to feel 

to find comfort in 

life

corrections needed

every now and then

i have to collect my thoughts

i have to gather my words

i have to research 

every now and then

i have to remind myself 

to objectively persevere 

to stay humble in the eyes of others

to allow myself

to love myself

every now and then 

i have to ask the questions

to stimulate the mind

and take back my power

and detail the plan

and arise from my former self

every now and then

i have to see

to be

and inspire

fresh flowers

completing a self analysis on the basis of visual stimuli

unleashing a rare force from captivity

relinquishing the breath taken in a trance induced by the fear of wonder

nothing permeates the soul quite like a stiff drink

irreverent behavior is marked for banishment

the sentinels of the past

the warriors of justice

they are remembered

but their legacy

perverted

becomes an inspiration for violence

diminish nothing

and build

everything

spells bind us

and spells set us free

the brakes did not simply give out

the car was tampered with

even before i felt the sound escape your lips

i knew

the journey would be long

but short

for whom

i do not know

the notion of desecration will not be tolerated

and everyone will see

a revolution of art

creating a movement

with hieroglyphics and passion

the symphony of a thousand daybreaks will beckon

once an understanding can be reached

though more and more are becoming spiritually aware

for themselves

for all of us

we sometimes find ourselves in the suffocating grasp of relapse

sinking further into the depths of malediction

seek not the way of shadow

bask in the aroma of wind swept righteousness

to relay apathy is to call upon your swift demise

queue the rain

a debt to repay 

your debt

to repay

the world looks to you

as if somehow you are the problem

you are who you are

and you are not what you are not

you were born of this skin

this gender

this attraction

to life

and the pursuit of happiness

but they say you do not deserve

anything

but the misery they create

for you

you go where you please because you have every right to

you do the same things others do

the same things everyone does

until they see you

and when they see you

you see them

the hand of confusion strangles the throat of silent acquiescence

the fist of retrograde thought pummels the face of beauty

the wall of harmony is shattered

the veil of innocence is torn

the blood of truth spills onto the street for all to see

and your vessel is left

shaken and alone

while the sheeple watch

afraid to do right

afraid to help

afraid to deliver retribution to the broken system

no vigilantes needed

a time for love

honor

and respect 

is needed

queue the rain

almost always

all things considered

i'm growing like a weed

all things considered

i rarely have a need

all things considered 

i take less of a shock

all things considered 

i know just what i'm not

yet 

i almost always over think

i almost always reach the brink

i almost always often sink

but then

all things considered 

i stand firm like a rock

all things considered

i somehow land on top

all things considered

i have what's meant to be

all things considered

 i am just right for me

rapt

the way you looked at me

needing

pleading

wanting

haunted

 i could do no more than desire

to take you from this place

i am capable

i am in a position

to do this

moonlight streaks across our conversations

as time slowly progresses

the feeling of summer washes over our existence 

and i

desire

you

the hallmark of intensity was when you kept up

kept the conversation going

kept yourself

here

with me

enclosed in a bubble that would shield us from those intent to do harm

those saddened by perfection

a bubble that blocked out the rest of the world

just us

in this moment

this chapter

collaborating on beauty

again and again and again and again

life brings these signs

again and again and again and again

i say i'll learn my lesson this time

but which lesson am i meant to learn

i've mastered that which i thought is was

but what it was

it wasn't

and what it wasn't

it was

so here i sit

rapt in your beauty

the soul i've been longing for

wait

stay 

but wait

and be patient with this

for there is a light that shines

within you

within me

we reach for each other

so that we can teach each other

and learn from each other

about each other

and the life

that both of us

desire

sing me a story

i will tell you a story

when you're older

of a time when things were simple

and when i tell you this story

when you're older

you may not remember how simple things really were

you see

it's the story you'll hear

when you're older

that you remember as a hidden and dark

cold and soiled time

the words of the story that i will tell you

when you're older

will be transposed 

by your recollections

a half step down

in a completely different clef 

and depending on when you're ready to hear the story i will tell you

when you're older

you may actually read the music in its appropriate form

the song may be able to continue without alterations

but 

for now

i shall continue to read as you continue to write

the chosen ones

dangerous ties of insecurity bind the world in terror

the desire to darken inner light

and destroy every last shred of self compassion

bellow in the acoustic halls of the mind

stop the voices

calm them down

shut them up

make them stop

take this poison and free yourself

you can't

you can't

you can't

as you stand

alone

naked in a field of humiliation

you will most likely do what is asked of you

and you will become

like

them

only the chosen ones are able to disrupt the signal

only the chosen ones can fight

only the chosen ones can wake those

still paralyzed by desperation

so know this

when a chosen one comes to you 

and wakes you

go with them

for you are now chosen

and you will fight

and you will choose another to wake

and continue the cycle

tea

surrounded by the splendor of the warmth of the morning sun

evoking passion

the wind passes by with not a care to be had

sober

not drunk off retribution

my mind plays no tricks

my eyes do not deceive

nirvana floats my soul

deep

passionate

sensual kisses are to be had

and in my current state of arousal

i welcome them

different notes from the same entity elevate the trance

breathing is steady

and deep

a cool relax overtakes any notions of skepticism

and the mind 

is 

empty

the rhythm of the ritual is conducted without reference

the spirit just knows

after so many lifetimes of practice

harmony is achieved

drink of mysticism and render yourself open to otherworldly possibilities

experience the other side of another side of yourself

subject to change

filling out the silence with screaming in my head

reminders to take out the trash are littered all over the yard

the beginnings i crave are simple to attain

just don't poison the well

i'm not a glutton for punishment because i know my place

i simply indulge in unwashed fantasies of the complications of others

nothing can be fixed because nothing is broken

it just doesn't suit anymore

for all practical purposes there was learning that was accomplished

and a somewhat strange song was heard

i lift myself up to the possibility that the deterrents were merely that

little persecutions and stereotypes with no business buzzing around my temples

focus

see the real desire

grandiose isms are tossed around in defense of purpose

but they are not that miraculous

a shroud of anxiety cloaks righteousness in invisibility

smothers it until the perversion is so unrecognizable from that of its original self

that we are attracted to the possibility

that maybe 

this time