thank god i have chocolate

i wasn't doing

too

bad

until the birds shit on me

i was warned

but i laughed in the face of the young sage

i have to make my own mistakes i guess

and then i got real mad

it seems like there's always one person i'm constantly mad at

and i didn't think it was so

i thought i was past that

i'm just canning my wares again i guess

the night was full of signs

beacons of reality

and my mind

so focused

or so i thought

melted down

washed of vibrancy

claiming to be something i'm not i guess

no time for bird droppings

i'll wash my hair when i get home

humility

to be the best at something you're not 

is pretentious

to admit that you can do more than one solid task

and do it better than anyone else

is ostentatious

to consider

even for a moment

that we are not bestowed here for one purpose 

and one purpose only

is senseless

when the lay of the land is beheld 

and eyes roll back

and a calm takes you

and excites you

and the storms of intrigue collide in your temples

you will know what inspiration is

direction is something to master

no one likes a loose cannon

to lead yourself down the path to righteousness is a journey

some can do some things

others can do other things

there is a star upon my belly and i wear it well

i thought it was only meant for me to see

when a collective takes a poll

you will know what it is you do

better than anyone else

in time

what has me will not let me go

though i try

i try so hard

to void it from my aura

it keeps

coming

back

i have accepted that which i possess

have come to terms with that which i don't

yet

and still

i am being followed

a force more powerful than i

seeks me out

have i not sequestered my talents until they were ready

are they ready

am i

ready

anguish of incompletion 

unfulfilled appetite

i know who you are and i know what you came for

but you shall not have it

vile ramparts erected in mockery

distilling my hopes to a vapid trepidation

silently agonizing that which i know i am

fill my colostomy bag with cement

if you please

it's not formidable enough

i will hold true to the old ways

collect me when i'm gone or scatter the bones

in time

i will be

unfortunately

distressed and disemboweled 

cold

annoyed

closing off the light of day to revert

alone and restless

yearning for a feed

nothing satisfies

daily reminders of why 

i

don't

and won't 

and would never

ever ever ever

sneeze without covering my mouth

and pollinate the air

suffering as it is

with more pollution

tuck the day away

forget how agitation uncovers madness

effortlessly

as fetching as the notion is

thoughts

infect

thoughts

decimate

thoughts

are all i have

wave traffic through slowly

a calm demeanor and steady face will save poise

and pay

handsomely

at the end of the escapade

life

will

continue