isn't it a shame

wasteful

the decision to regard me

i have heard all the energy it took to assume that i cared

the validation you seek is within you

not my justification of myself

remember

the drum that i march to is mine and mine alone

no pseudo intellectual false pretense regurgitative misunderstanding here

everything is intentional

and the scope of your comprehension of that truth is blurry at best

 share with me the notion that appearance kills the growth of intelligence

insecurities breed on putrid fantasies

maladies 

that not even healthy eating can affect

spring forth

shrouded by pressure

sugar is sweetest when squeezed from marrow

let not your attempt at brilliance fail

stay determined

and open

and happy

and at peace with yourself

so that it may translate well to others

let not the aroma of impudence draw a crowd

preach only what you can commit to 

this is your call to action

stew alone

surrounded by sheeple

but do not flatter yourself with the embrace of apology

isn't it a shame how cowardice permeates my sense of smell

to the point of intoxication

there is no legal limit

your erectile dysfunction will be the key to your undoing

semantics 

all of it

we both say the same things

in different ways

yet you are the reason for the disconnect

i will not remove myself from the plane i have ascended to for your pleasure

i'm at peace where i am

the warrior you see before you has taken life to stay the student

even when times call for teaching

stay the student

you will lose yourself

never forget who you are

allow yourself to make mistakes

as long as you are genuine

the potential to be great is in your hands

do not let jealousy and rage request your vessel by force

deny the recommendation to attempt contempt

if you can

only

if 

you

can

coincidence

would i be wrong to tell you what i know

would that be bastardly

would you believe me

would you even listen after the first blasphemous words were uttered

would it fucking matter

would the hair of the world stand on end

if knowing 

what i know

got to you

would it be so bad to exhume the dead

the matrix that is

would it add more stress if it was just evolution

hourglass

the grains of sand begin the migration

battle scars are saved for future intercourse

without the stars the night would suffocate

everything in time

follow the plan 

stick to the script

allow no breath

between breaths

pins are not here to swallow

there is nothing to match

or surpass

the moments of few are had here

the beauty of vulnerability

shines

in the ominous glow of the idol

keep intentions pure

keep intrigue healthy

keep the doors open to exposure

there is a flame

this is what attracts them

attention is the enemy

hearts aloft bring soft steps and quickened beat

once boundaries are instilled

then amended

is the ability to suspend disbelief possible

electricity makes it real

keeps it alert

there will be no punishment

only learning

steady as time passes

there will be no recollection of hunger

the worry for want is against itself

stay removed from disease

welcome the ebb and flow

gravity will not betray

that which is will always be

if only for a moment

time is a matter of perception 

a night alone

in death

as was once

in life

aroused by infinity

approaching trepidation

relating to only one

self

consumed by the fight

the struggle

harbinger of light

adorned with words

and thoughts

and actions

revolutionary in presentation

strong of will

the cause

the cause 

the cause

understanding what needs to be done

to eradicate the opposition

the need to be selective 

kiss the very virtue of my lips

taste my poison

devour me for

i

am

yours

wielding but not yielding

forgotten but not rotted

sensory

production

overload

in life

as was once

in death

righteous

sullen

all signs point to

a potential closing of doors

wrangle the desires and draw the blinds

time

stands still

time

needs a second look

this time

if a second look is needed then not another lash shall be bat

for this

is what i don't need

the way i want it

clandestine compulsory settings abate me

bored with inadequacy

spare me your rhetoric

i don't like slowing down

keep me stimulated

keep me engaged

the tree trunk is always the last to go

fallen behind the submissive comfort

i would have to say i get it

ebbs and flows are the ways of the current

recognizing i'm no more powerful now than i was then

yet wisdom is power

my trusty rock is my escape plan

beside the box and the tree 

just in front 

when you leave the elevator

it seemed only natural to marry the two worlds

i need to get back to basics

alignment

somehow

helps

i cannot force feed miracles

i am not inspired

my creativity is shifting

to another plateau

unstable

unsettling

my annoyance peaks

trapped

a dog attempting to find solace in the back of a moving vehicle

over think

don't over think

governance does not instill the best of times

and i am governing myself

with the lights on

welcome

this is a life less what you thought it was

or would be

societal assassinations are performed by masochists

daily assaults on character demean the integrity of those incarnated to change

to lead

to bring to light

to bring

light

hostile geese run rampant

viciously pecking at heartstrings

of honest attempts

of honest people

honestly open for improvement

there is no room for appreciation

there is only aggression

live within your means

or so one should

but one never does

does one

beneath the thankless cowl

a poison brews

trust dies

fantasies wither and falter

turning cold and domineering

a true champion will face fear

face vulnerability

set free the voices of millions with one simple question

focus and believe

the chemicals are here to shame you

though they're marketed to making you better

you've never been better

i offer

to you

this game of insidious addiction

the rules are simple

don't

care

and expect

no

demand

everything

what dreams may come

i've been wide awake for over an hour now and I don't know why

but I do know that I would be sleeping like a baby in your arms

not feeling alone

safe

peaceful

in your arms

your energy protecting my dreams and the presence of your embrace keeping me grounded

the tranquil rhythm of your soothing breath on the back of my neck would ease my soul to the deepest state of slumber

and if perchance I was to rise prematurely under a blanket of stars with you by my side I would turn to you

gaze upon your self

your essence

i would breathe you in

your body so deep in sleep takes me to where you are

seconds feel like an eternity

perception does not exist on our plane

white noise helps but you are my ultimate sleep mate 

i would be sleeping like a baby in your arms

i've been awake for over an hour and I don't know why

don't look back

when you look back

you will see pure

unadulterated

perfect reality

that you tortured for years

while you ran and hid

in the unfortunate bliss

of your miserable happiness

how wonderful

a kiss from your lips would light my soul on fire

to be held in your arms

safe from harm

would empower my being

i would thank the sun that rose every day 

and the moon every night 

for they brought us together

no amount of outside winds will shift the way i feel

no self doubt

no fear

no loathing

my smile glistens when you cross my mind

the commitment to my passion 

for you inspires my desires to be there for you when you need my energy

when i sleep i can feel your essence melting into my skin

there is excitement

there is hope

there is a new chapter

a few pages in

that will be dictated by our actions

how wonderful 

new

and in the dark

as i start to fade out

i smile because i know he loves me

would do anything for me

is a man of his word even if he gets distracted

this man with a dream of a certain foreseeable future is learning

with much determination

what it takes to make dreams reality

though observant i open my heart and let love in

we can evolve together and still stay true to our individual aesthetics

he sends emotions of sunflowers over me when i hear his voice

see his face

read his words

it makes my body melt when i think about getting lost in his eyes

i don't expect that which was never there to begin with

i can love and i will show him my beauty

towards his light i float

i don't want this feeling of being wanted to end

when our lips meet and our bodies touch our souls will know what the truth is 

hidden

I miss the way you randomly approach me

The things you would say

I miss the feeling you gave me

I hope it wasn't in vain

Life began and we counted the days

Together

Wishful thinking in the back of our minds of a life

Together

And yet there's something

Something not there

The extra mile is not being met

Nor exceeded

And I can't help but feeling

That you're not feeling

This

Kiss me so I know it's real

Feel me from the inside

Let me in to your room so I can understand

And respect

And appreciate

You

Where do I stand

Where do you stand

Where do we

Stand

Show me it's better than sex

Make me believe

What you believe

What do you believe

There is someone

Always someone

Only one

Of whom you should never hide from

Me

I do not wear it well

And I care

And I feel

And I love

appreciation

oh to enjoy your beauty and taste your skin as you hold me in your arms 

your delicious scent filling my nostrils

my lips on your soft neck would be a blessing 

your hands on my lower body would be divine

holding each other close would be our forte

thank god i have chocolate

i wasn't doing

too

bad

until the birds shit on me

i was warned

but i laughed in the face of the young sage

i have to make my own mistakes i guess

and then i got real mad

it seems like there's always one person i'm constantly mad at

and i didn't think it was so

i thought i was past that

i'm just canning my wares again i guess

the night was full of signs

beacons of reality

and my mind

so focused

or so i thought

melted down

washed of vibrancy

claiming to be something i'm not i guess

no time for bird droppings

i'll wash my hair when i get home

humility

to be the best at something you're not 

is pretentious

to admit that you can do more than one solid task

and do it better than anyone else

is ostentatious

to consider

even for a moment

that we are not bestowed here for one purpose 

and one purpose only

is senseless

when the lay of the land is beheld 

and eyes roll back

and a calm takes you

and excites you

and the storms of intrigue collide in your temples

you will know what inspiration is

direction is something to master

no one likes a loose cannon

to lead yourself down the path to righteousness is a journey

some can do some things

others can do other things

there is a star upon my belly and i wear it well

i thought it was only meant for me to see

when a collective takes a poll

you will know what it is you do

better than anyone else

in time

what has me will not let me go

though i try

i try so hard

to void it from my aura

it keeps

coming

back

i have accepted that which i possess

have come to terms with that which i don't

yet

and still

i am being followed

a force more powerful than i

seeks me out

have i not sequestered my talents until they were ready

are they ready

am i

ready

anguish of incompletion 

unfulfilled appetite

i know who you are and i know what you came for

but you shall not have it

vile ramparts erected in mockery

distilling my hopes to a vapid trepidation

silently agonizing that which i know i am

fill my colostomy bag with cement

if you please

it's not formidable enough

i will hold true to the old ways

collect me when i'm gone or scatter the bones

in time

i will be

unfortunately

distressed and disemboweled 

cold

annoyed

closing off the light of day to revert

alone and restless

yearning for a feed

nothing satisfies

daily reminders of why 

i

don't

and won't 

and would never

ever ever ever

sneeze without covering my mouth

and pollinate the air

suffering as it is

with more pollution

tuck the day away

forget how agitation uncovers madness

effortlessly

as fetching as the notion is

thoughts

infect

thoughts

decimate

thoughts

are all i have

wave traffic through slowly

a calm demeanor and steady face will save poise

and pay

handsomely

at the end of the escapade

life

will

continue