someone to take care of you

it was there

in that single moment

when i knew

this is what you wanted

this is what you thought you deserved

from the way your unkempt hair styled itself

to the way you chose to style yourself

you don't belong here

you don't belong this way

but i'm certain that's all you've ever heard in regards to you

and i know

i know what you're doing

even if you don't

and you know it too

even though you try and block it out

or make it some fanciful fallacy

fit for feverish function

the look on your face was one of disbelief

he wasn't even there to you

you were all alone

as the smoke billowed on a harsh wind

i doubt you smelled

what i assume was

the aromatic flesh roasting and marinating in it's own fat

broad daylight

did you think i would never happen upon you

were you hoping

it was chance

it was only for an instant

and in that instant i fell apart inside

i wanted to stop

wanted to go back

wanted to take you away from this hell you've created

show you

again

how it can be

if you let it

but in that instant

i made up my mind

i took it with me

up the road a little ways

then 

i left it

experience is for the wise

redundancy is for the insane

i know what chapter you're reading

don't drain all your resources

continuance

my continuance is based upon a longing for my soul's delight

deep within the cavernous lands

my desire to feel

and express

and create

abducts all other senses

allow nothing to control your being

call out to those that are not with us

that will assist us

and you will find your way

my continuance is based upon an insatiable predilection for new

encouraging my mouth to salivate at the thought

demanding that i stay

and become

all that i can become

i'll know when it's time

i'll know how to go

collect myself

with myself

for myself

alone

the blood we bleed

until one thought propels us forward

until the change is in our eyes

until the lists begin to dwindle

leaving only the serious diversions

we shall never know serenity

my tranquil heart and callous mouth will get me into trouble

my thoughts of addicts metamorphosing

and rising against the system

cleansing their wounds

once and for all

allowing no more to suppurate

the greed that consumes finally implodes

and i watch from the tower

an open room where all are welcome

the awakening is upon us

in time

alignment

that is what the ten percent preach

walking through fields of human excrement

the sun does not shine through the barricades of the hallowed forrest anymore

we seek atonement because we are told to

yet

the examples of the

forgiven

do not match the actions of the saved

the universe devised a plan of choice

a threesome with cause and effect

ownership is the deficiency

callous and terminal spectres invite allusive decadence

show me your way but let me decide 

without sanction

there is fire on the horizon

and soon the dust will blow to the heavens from whence it rained

a new day is upon us

extinction threatens existence

not my existence

or the existence of those like me

extinction threatens the existence of the soldiers of despondency

cancer can not thrive in a system devoid of sugar

that which is meant to fall will do so righteously

acts of valor will display the aversion to savagery

a firm base is all one needs to find the words

for action

for peace

for resurrection